there you are.

i tend to check every day, to see if any changes were made. i'm checking in hope that no changes were made. really, i shouldn't check, that way, even if there were changes i wouldn't know. but then i still check. cos each day, it gives me a little bit more hope than the last. it's like my burning candle in the dark. my sense of direction.

but,

why does my pride outweigh ______?