new blog on the roll.
let me know if you want the link to it :)

patience.

i would do anything on my behalf to make it better for you. right now that entails doing nothing but being patient.

i too need to patch myself up. attend all classes, exercise, join more activities, meet mum more often. i'm going to start a new blog soon, a photo blog, one that documents my life in terms of facts and events, rather than feelings, like so on this blog. yea, All is well; now, and in due time.

the strangest feeling is when you feel absolutely nothing at all, when you should be boiling with emotions.

so much has happened in the past month i feel like i'm in some drama tv series.

revelation.

people can change so much.

either in a short time, or over a long time. you are different, yesterday, today.
is it the people who change? or the situation? priorities. mindsets. perceptions. reasons. mind, heart, realizations.

when you've made a mess, the worst thing to do is to continue to swim around in it, and to allow yourself to drown in the misery. some people do that and they miss out on the rest of what life has to offer. the best thing to do is to pick yourself up, and this time stand even taller. it is to know that everything happens for a reason. and this reason is great, it exists for the purpose of being another lesson, another step to making you almost invincible.
i believe so strongly in balance; meaning, when there's joy, what follows is inevitably, pain. but when there's pain, you grow stronger, then comes joy - from within. and then joy lingers, even when pain tries to engulf you, joy is still within. so, all is well. All is well.
at times when you have to face obstacles that you cannot avoid, are times when you realize you are much much stronger than you ever thought you were. with difficulties, come greatness.

nothing worthwhile is supposed to be easy.
do not let anything tie you down.

one of the greatest strength is calmness in the midst of chaos.

this is everything i've never, but at the same time, always have experienced (in my mind). new, but strangely comfortable and natural. exciting, but at the same time familiar and calming. only problem is i tend to take for granted things that are good to me, people who treat me well without me having to try. yea. anyways, we're getting a hamster tomorrow!! i'm so excited :) then to a church talk thing.

and for now, i have to continue with this never-ending Finance practice questions.. midterm tonight.

hmmm..

once in a while life presents us with something entirely unexpected. something which you expect to disappoint you, it almost does, but then a strange twist in the story surprises you, things actually go your way. and you start to think, hmmm..could it be? finally it's my turn?

wow. really?

so today i heard something that made me realize that for the past one year and eight months, i have been right.

you can't imagine how good that made me feel.

choices,

take one and you lose the other. you could intend to pick the better choice, to pick the one you like more, or the one that would make you happier. but sometimes, in a rarer situation, you pick the one that's neither of the three. simply because it's the right choice. one that despite all the misery you might have to face, you would not feel regret. for once, i think i did it right.

you know how sometimes you might imagine something to be a certain way, picture it, perhaps getting your ideal images of it from movies, books, or by seeing excerpts of other people's lives. you imagine yours to be the same, but at the back of your mind you know this is simply a figment of your imagination, it is only there to make you feel better, hopeful maybe.

but what if, this figment actually happens in your reality? And it's everything you've imagined, maybe even better?

and what if, at this moment, half of me is taking it as it is. loving the present, trying not to question nor complicate, trying to take it one day at a time. but the other half of me is wondering when this will mess up, because of course it will. of course it will.

what then?

one week.

3ams
lunch
unibar
texts
desserts
gift shopping
roadside food
tv series
computer gaming
sleep
breakfast
movie
massage
conversations