that instant.

how do you grasp on to the moment
when the warmth passes between two bodies, like light pulsing from a star.
the instant right before a bubble pops - at its most beautiful, at its most fragile.

how do you remember it in its purest form?
we smile for the camera because we want to be remembered that way, and in that fleeting moment, our pretentious smiles are captured. But what is there to capture the emotions beneath the smile?

i can remind myself of the time you held me so tightly, that in those moments, the whole world was within your arms. I might be able to even recall the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, and the sound of your light regretful sigh. And I think i can remember the mixed emotions. But no matter how hard I try, I cant recall the thoughts i had in that moment.

What else remains to remind us?
Which hand can reach out and capture the escaping swirls of memory?
Which bottle is strong and wide enough to hold it all?
Which mind cares enough to remember?

It lasts as long as the moment a joke leaves your lips, the warm blush of pride as it seeps within your cheeks, the tear that forms in the corner of your eye as you laugh too hard it hurts, the light tattoo of wrinkles that accumulate on your forehead when you strain to remember a passage from a textbook, the tight grip in your chest when a memory you love resurfaces.


And when its gone, all you're left with is a sense of emptiness.
An emptiness, that at the same time is a weight. The weight of the past, the present, and the future.
You wonder when does the next moment arrive?
But you're blessed with the memories. Though which one do you choose to keep?
If i could, i'd keep it all.
It's the last year in uplands,
And through the awkward moments, the anxiety, the jealousy, the disagreements,the apprehension, the failure,
my memory tells me,

I love you all.