i've never been more disappointed in you. you've done worse things, i know, but maybe this time it's cos i actually witnessed you doing it. i saw, i saw. i saw your distraught face and weary eyes, i heard your voice, so lacking of your usual warmth; why couldn't i stop you?
the usual me would have loved to spend more time with you, but today i had to walk away. can you imagine..? ..i was scared of you.
who are you?
look at you. just look at you. who was that stranger before my eyes? you were physically familiar, but i could not recognize your soul. i looked straight into your eyes, and for the first time ever, i saw nothing i knew. where has that benevolent heart gone? where is the kind soul that is so rarely seen in this wicked world, yet can be found deep inside you? where is that boy who looks after me like an elder brother and tells me what's right and what's wrong? where is that child in you that i fight with, yet love so dearly? why do you lie? so many times, to me, and to other people who truly care about you?
what happened to all the advice you've given me? why aren't they applied on yourself? what would you have done if i'd done what you are doing?
look at you. just look at you. who was that stranger before my eyes? you were physically familiar, but i could not recognize your soul. i looked straight into your eyes, and for the first time ever, i saw nothing i knew. where has that benevolent heart gone? where is the kind soul that is so rarely seen in this wicked world, yet can be found deep inside you? where is that boy who looks after me like an elder brother and tells me what's right and what's wrong? where is that child in you that i fight with, yet love so dearly? why do you lie? so many times, to me, and to other people who truly care about you?
what happened to all the advice you've given me? why aren't they applied on yourself? what would you have done if i'd done what you are doing?
yes, i admit that perhaps what i had done afterwards was not the best option, but can you blame a desperate heart? it felt like a strong hand had clutched and squeezed it till it was deformed beyond recognition. i had to do something. i'm sorry if you're mad at me for doing what i did.
why the huge reaction? well i don't know. maybe i care a lot about you? like more than i should. why? maybe cos once upon a time i loved you? i don't anymore, but that doesn't mean i don't care. i always had, but i thought it wasn't my right to do so, so i tried not to. and because you cared about me more than you should, when i was troubled. and because i don't want to see you take another wrong step, and do another thing you're going to regret.
please, i beg you to stop trying to be somebody you're not, because it hurts me, and i know it hurts you. if i had to kick the balls of the person who led you onto the wrong path, you know i would. if it was you alone, i'd kick you even harder.
but so what. you're not reading this, i know.
why the huge reaction? well i don't know. maybe i care a lot about you? like more than i should. why? maybe cos once upon a time i loved you? i don't anymore, but that doesn't mean i don't care. i always had, but i thought it wasn't my right to do so, so i tried not to. and because you cared about me more than you should, when i was troubled. and because i don't want to see you take another wrong step, and do another thing you're going to regret.
please, i beg you to stop trying to be somebody you're not, because it hurts me, and i know it hurts you. if i had to kick the balls of the person who led you onto the wrong path, you know i would. if it was you alone, i'd kick you even harder.
but so what. you're not reading this, i know.
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