to this island with love

i know there's still half a year till i leave this island in which i have spent half my life in. but right now i'm submerged in a thick sea of nostalgia. so if i dont write now, i'm afraid the next time i'm here i would have already swum up and emerged from the surface.

as im writing this, some of my friends are taking their SATs; some are lost in a dream many miles away in exciting cities - cities we can only imagine through the flickering scenes on tv. we're at a stage where we're all preparing for our own unique futures. we're all preparing to leave.
you find yourself on a diving board now - edging slowly toward the brink. when the time comes, you'll have to jump. not knowing for certain where you will land. will london be filled with vibrant and colourful market places, and old men smoking from pipes? beautiful ladies with their tender golden locks and green scarves? will there be charming men with that twinkle in their eyes, and an accent you'll take time to get used to? will the cottage houses be as fairytale-like as enid blyton had described?


will new york be filled with people in suits & ties, and high heels, taxis and the aroma of starbucks in every street? will japan be as innovative, as polite, and as comfortable a place to live in as we have imagined? what about canada, australia, hong kong, and france? so many places. so many questions, so many exciting things to anticipate. six months and we'll have the answers.

when we all dive off the diving board, what happens to what's left behind?
what happens to the memories and the familiarity of things that we're taking for granted now? what happens to the comfort we find in our homes, our bedrooms? what happens to our family, our parents, the protective arms we could always return to? what if we have jumped off the board, only to find ourselves scampering back? but there is no way to get back on it, you know? there is no turning back.
what a scary thought.

in this island, i have grown from being a curious child to a confused teenager. and now, im somewhere in between the confused teenager and ambitious and curious adult stage. discovering about life, about family, about friends, about love; all of these were confusing. they were weird. they were painful. but i have also discovered that in between the confusion and pain and unfairness, there are indeed a lot of reasons why its a blessing to be alive. its the little moments within all the big moments. the exchange of smiles with a lover; the glowing pride over an achievement; the tears you cry over a sacrifice made by family; the heartfelt conversations on a thursday night with friends.

how could anyone ever feel lonely, when they have a mind filled with memories to the brim, by their side, all the time?

i'm turning into an adult. you're turning into an adult. could it be?

time is a fleeting thing my friends. so use it well.

ahh..there is so much to this life,
and this is just the beginning.

"we were there at its inception, it was there at our conclusion."