smiles

i was listening to the radio when Jay Chou's song came up. It was the song Secret, from the movie Secret. I won't elaborate on the storyline of the movie, but it was quite interesting i must say. so do watch it if you haven't already. anyways, i had my eyes closed as i listened to the song, and i listened to the lyrics carefully. naturally, images from the movie synthesized in my mind, then, remnants of my memory with K began to resurface.

i think you were the first person to observe my smile so closely. it may not be beautiful, heck, i'd say its slightly crooked, but you, you brought the best out of it.
i remember, you would place your index finger gently on my cheek, right at the spot where my flesh sinks in and forms a dent - my dimple. and wait for a smile to form. you know i can't resist. and when you get what you wanted, you'd smile.

another time, during dinner, over our plates of pasta that we didn't feel like eating, you randomly commented that when i smile, i look like a korean. with the small eyes and all that. i laughed and reminded you that i am half korean. from then onwards, whenever i met a new friend of yours, you'd ask me to smile for them. you were showing off my smile to your friends. it seemed like you were proud of it. how pleasantly weird?:)
i can't assign words to describe these moments, and the way you made me feel. can you?


you described the two weeks in which you met me, (and in which we became arguing partners, friends, very close friends, cold-war practioners, lovers, then back to being friends again) as a dream. this word can be open to ambigious intepretations. but for now, i'd leave it be.

you were right in telling me to forget you.
though this may sound childish, i think we both (the pragmatic, law student, you. and the emotional, idealist, me) agreed upon one thing. we are connected somehow. in that when im happy, somewhere a million miles away, you would feel the happiness too. and the same theory applies the other way round.
i've been very happy lately, partly because of me, and partly because of you.


here are the lyrics to Secret:

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
又何必去改变 已错过的时间
你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
想象你在身边 在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现 这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡



sometimes a little distance lets you see the bigger picture.