inexplicable

hmm isnt it funny how we all have our own little group of friends, our own little year groups. and i cant help but notice how we spend time with each other; how we grow and shape each other's life. how our interests develop together, or go in opposite ways. what if we were put in different year groups, would we have been friends still? or would you be the girl that my friends and i gossip about? what if things weren't allocated the way it was. what if i had a better subject teacher, would i have liked that subject more? would i be wanting to study that subject in university, instead of Law? so what do you call this? the works of destinty? the whole grand scheme?
how did things turn out like this? how do i trace back to where it all began?
does it matter really.

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to be the only one who believes so strongly in something, can be very very hard. and tiring.
without support and reassurance, and with time ticking by like that, the belief unavoidably shakes a little.
oh but please, please. one day do prove me right. make me smile about believing.