Beauty in the breaking

Sitting on the brim,
looking down at the countless possibilities the fall could bring, I praise myself for even coming this far.
But it was two things that made that nanosecond of decision to let go:
1. If the people before me could do it, I don’t see why can’t I
2. Nothing, nothing, could possibly hurt more and surprise me more than He did.

So all it took was that little lifting my fingers off the edge, and giving my body a little push,





(muted scream)







and I’ve reached the bottom before I realized it even happened.

As I lay there in a shapeless heap for 3 seconds, only one thought came into my mind:I’ve changed. The past me would never have let go of the edge. And I like what I’ve become.


Later on that day when I received an inspiring text from Wei Ling about some wei-ling-ism act that made me so proud of her, and one sentence really stopped me in my pace, “You are the only one who got it.” That one sentence made a huge impact Ling :) it made me realize, Mr. ex boyfriend (yes, that’s what I can proudly call him now), Why would I hate you?
In fact, I thank you, for making me into…a fighter. A survivor.
Without you, I would not have learned what I have; I would not have felt the emotions I did. I would not have grown so much in such a short time, and become what I am today.
without you, I would not have realized that by losing one of the most important things, I could rediscover hundreds of other important things that were always there around me the whole time.
you, taught me to appreciate my friends.
you, taught me to appreciate Time. To appreciate moments of…let’s call it Happiness, for we never know for just how long it’ll last.
you, taught me that maybe I may not be able to find someone better than you, but that’s not the point! The point is to find someone better, for myself. And I think I have.
you, taught me not to sweat the small things, because everything’s temporary anyways.

No let me rephrase all that, it was not YOU who taught me, you just provided me the opportunity to learn. I, Apple Ko, taught myself all those valuable things through your lessons. I’m glad I was listening in class :P . I’m glad I was willing to learn.

your existence, has made me into a girl who’s so much more stronger and experienced than the one at the start of IB.So I genuinely THANK you Mr. ex boyfriend. Now I can say that I do NOT wish that what happened did not happen, because I am more than grateful that it did. The only thing I’m ashamed of, is not realizing all this earlier. :P

& just in case you were wondering, like you always did (because Yes, you ARE that little bit more confused than everyone else), there was absolutely NO SARCASM used in this post.